7th January 2011

Ivy Leaguers- America’s Hardest Criminal or Over-Dosing On Student Debt

posted in News, `Roids |

Marijuana. Acid. Cocaine. What do these things have in common? Well, they’re all illegal substances, for one. Recently, illegal drugs have been getting a lot of attention from the media because of the young men from Columbia1 University who were caught selling other students Marijuana and LSD-laced Sweet-Tarts in their frat houses “in order to pay their tuition.” Now, illegal drug sales may happen every day in the streets of our fair cities, but because these guys were caught at an Ivy League school, the mainstream media decided to bring this case into light and ruin their futures.

The whole thing got me thinking- how else is a young college student who has to study 24/7, and whose parents can’t afford to pay $60,000 a year supposed to afford a decent college education? As a man named Billy Shakespeare once said “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” The bard wisely observed that debt can be very evil. These students may have tried to be self-sufficient, debt-free adults in order to maintain their education, and now, their futures are fucked. Without taking these drastic measures, these students would’ve been in debt for years. In some places in our world, like Europe, one can get a good education for free, because they know that debt makes people do bad things and that well-educated citizens are vital to improving society!

Just like the CEO’s of Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson and Merck, these Columbia students were pushing their product in order to make a living. The only difference between these mega- conglomerate drug companies and the students is that the drugs the Columbia boys were selling weren’t nearly as dangerous as say, one of Pfizer’s tops seller’s: Zoloft. This drug, which is constantly advertised to thousands of adults and children on television, boasts among its side-effects:

Severe allergic reactions; bizarre behavior; black or bloody stools; chest pain; confusion; decreased bladder control; exaggerated reflexes; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever; hallucinations; memory loss, panic attacks, aggressiveness, hostility, restlessness, persistent or severe ringing in the ears; persistent, painful erection; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping; severe or persistent headache; stomach pain; suicidal thoughts or attempts; tremor; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual or severe mental or mood changes; unusual weakness; vision changes; worsening of depression.


Why is it that CEO’s can be stars of the pharmaceutical world and get away with selling drugs that can do so much harm to a human being- not to mention get paid millions each year plus bonuses to do what they do- yet these youths, in an effort simply to support themselves and their expensive educations, who sold drugs that comparitively could be considered mild (and probably should be legalized), must now face an overdose of shame, media attention, and, perhaps ruined lives.

A decent, free education should be the constitutional right of all American citizens because student debt is the worst kind of drug!

This Lloyd’s Roid was written with Allison C. Jones

[1] Not to be confused with the South American drug-pushing country called Colombia.

There are currently 2 responses to “Ivy Leaguers- America’s Hardest Criminal or Over-Dosing On Student Debt”

Why not let us know what you think by adding your own comment! Your opinion is as valid as anyone elses, so come on... let us know what you think.

  1. 1 On February 7th, 2011, Vini said:

    Great points but there are thousands of students who work shitty jobs to pay their debt the honest way. The side effects you mentioned are bad but the side effects of cocaine and lsd are worse and can ruin lives

  2. 2 On February 10th, 2011, dave said:

    I couldn’t agree more about the fact the side effects for certain medications are far worse than illegal substances. To me a little bit of reefer never hurt anyone, but still what these boys were doing was against the law and they got caught.Which sucks. This is just a class A example of what hard times can do to good people needing money. It’s not just the addicts selling, its moms and dads and working class people trying to survive. What if my mother was dying and needed $60,000, do you not think i’d take desperate measures? I love how they (the government) keeps an herb that can actually medically help people illegal, but puts a pill on the market for old men to keep their penis erect. Well I guess I’ll just take my legal medicine and suffer all the horrible side-effects…

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