18th November 2011

Hey, Obama! Can You Spare Some “Change”?

posted in News, `Roids |

Hey, Obama! Can You Spare Some “Change”?
By Lloyd Kaufman w/ Justin A.Martell

President Obama’s America is a nation in which failed and bankrupt Wall Street insiders, car company moguls, and banks are rewarded billions of dollars of bailout money from the federal government.  It looks like everyone is being bailed out except the most productive segment of our society; the bearers of the torch, the young, recently graduated students of America.  If anyone needs a bailout, they do1.

As I slide down the razor blade of my senior life, I see a lot of bright, young people who are out of college graduates, and could be designing rocket engines for future expeditions into outer space or making the next Toxic Avenger!  Instead, they are waiting tables and sweeping the floor to pay back their loans to private lenders like the Student Loan Marketing Association, better known as “Sallie Mae,”2  who are run by men my age who get huge salaries.  I can’t tell you how many over qualified, brilliant young people I’ve met who are forced to take menial jobs to pay off these mountains of debt3.   How demoralizing it must be for a 22 year-old recent grad to wake up everyday and have to wait on miserable old men such as myself, instead of curing cancer or inventing the next Troma Entertainment!…Well, strike that part about the next Troma Entertainment.

In 1968, I was able to go to Yale University for a grand total of $3,000, including room and board.  Today, Yale costs $47,500 a year, but it’s not just Yale; even state universities like UCLA, which were created to offer free or low-cost education, are becoming obscenely expensive.  So naturally, the astronomical increases in tuition at colleges and universities over the years have astounded me.  It seems like the post-war, baby boomer generation, by virtue of their giant numbers, were able to make sure that they had top quality education at little or no expense, but have closed the door to accessible education behind them4.   Over the years, there’s been constant blabbering and writing by the media with regard to this subject.  For instance, the Wall Street Journal recently ran an opinion piece by the U.S. Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, titled, “Banks Don’t Belong in the Student Loan Business.”  In the article, Duncan whines that the banks get rich because the government guarantees student loans and that the banks should not be in the student loan business.  He, and all the other suits in Washington, are missing the point entirely.  The point is, there shouldn’t be student loans…Period.  Education in America should be free!  It should be an inalienable right!

If I remember correctly, one of the main reasons Obama got elected was because the students played such a huge role in promoting his promises of “change.”  Those promises are now laughable, as many who played an instrumental role in Obama’s election are having their needs ignored in favor of bloated automobile companies that will probably go gas tank up in a short while, regardless of how much money is pumped into them by the federal government.  It is these students who are the future of this country; the ones who are going to actually have to pull our great nation out of the hole in which it has sunk.  How can they utilize their educations to better the country if they owe thousands upon thousands of dollars in money that they cannot pay?

So, dear reader, you may be saying, “Alright, Uncle Lloyd, we get it, the young people should be helped, but what’s the solution?”  I’m glad you asked!  Write to your congressman or congressgyno and tell them that as long as Obama is handing out billions of dollars of borrowed money, why not borrow a few billion more from China and implement a “Student Loan Forgiveness Policy.”  Lifting this huge burden off of the backs of these young men and women would represent real change and would be a sincere measure of gratitude from our Commander in Chief to the idealistic, young people who put him in the oval office.  Every American citizen should have the right to a fine education at no cost.  Hey, if Italy can do it, we can do it!

Kaufman (left) tries to pass off the sores on his face as simple acne resulting from the stress of having to write this Lloyd’s Roid.  However, his assistant, Justin Martell (right), reminds Kaufman that it could have something to do with the fact that he has just returned from one of his weekends in Bangkok.


  1. Duncan, Arne. “Banks Don’t Belong in the Student Loan Business.” Wall Street Journal. 17 Dec. 2009.

[1] Them, and failed filmmakers like myself, but who gives a shit about us?
[2] It’s ironic that this hardball, nasty organization, which will harass graduates for years to come, has been given such a pleasant sounding, feminine name.
[3] Case in point, Justin Martell, a beautiful, young boy who has recently graduated from Franklin Pierce University. He’s got his whole life in front of him, but because of this giant debt hanging over him, he has tragically had to take a horrible, horrible job that’s worse than working at any fast food joint – working as my assistant.
[4] On a side note, access to affordable education is not the only thing that has been made not easily attainable for young people by the Baby Boomers. Many of these young people are also without health care. Meanwhile, money is taken out of their paychecks every week to take care of 89 year-old pieces of meat jerky, who do nothing to advance society, who are lying on a bed in Florida, and cost $80,000 a day to have their feeding tubes maintained.

There are currently 21 responses to “Hey, Obama! Can You Spare Some “Change”?”

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  1. 1 On January 15th, 2010, Wolfe said:

    Exactly Lloyd, I have been working in the Sandbox these past four years to pay off student debt plus to try and self-finance my own films. However companies like AIG, GMC etc etc simply put out their hand and Obama and the Republicrats forked over billions. Also look at all the credit card holders that got shafted with interest rates that doubled and in some cases tripled. Where is the protect for the common person?

  2. 2 On January 15th, 2010, bile said:

    “The point is, there shouldn’t be student loans…Period. Education in America should be free! It should be an inalienable right!”

    There is no such thing as free. What you mean is that others should pay for it through taxation. I strongly disagree with such a position but regardless please do not claim it should be a right. One can not have a right to another’s labor which is what such a claim is. Real rights are negative. To claim education is a right you are claiming that students (to be students) have the right to enslave others in some way to get that service. That there is an obligation by others to provide them that service. You have a right to pursue an education, to offer some an education, to not have the government debase the currency and steal the value of your money. You don’t have a right to an education, or a house or a cheese burger.

    If you want to know why education, medical care, etc. are increasing in cost disproportionately you’ll need to study economics… look into the monetary policies of the Federal Reserve and intervention into those fields by the federal government. It’s the same reason there was the dot com bubble and the housing bubble and why Wall Street is in such a mess.Through legislation and subsidies they direct money into sectors of the economy which otherwise wouldn’t have happened leading to more money in those fields, increasing demand. Through regulation they limit competition and create cartels thereby decreasing supply. The government uses the FED to monetize debt, giving banks an advantage in that they get the money at the original value but later as it flows through the economy the increase in the money supply depreciates the value of the dollar leading to price inflation which doesn’t affect all sectors of the economy at the same time.

    It’s a complex web of cause and effect but it’s entirely predictable and had been predicted by many. Those particular economists unfortunately are of a school of thought which doesn’t have the ear of government officials because they tend to tell them they are doing the wrong thing.

    I’d much rather have the government spend money on sending people to school than blowing up brown people around the world and waging aggressive wars. Unfortunately it’s not a option, they will spend money on any and all things regardless of the ability to pay (directly that is). Ultimately though subsidizing education leads will lead to the same kind of market distortions and unintended side effects that subsidizing other fields does.

  3. 3 On January 17th, 2010, Stuart Feedback Andrews said:

    Great ‘Roid, Lloyd.

    But we have a slightly different situation up here in Canaduh.

    The system here works like this: you take out a massive loan for four years of college then about six months after graduation, when the collection agency inevitably comes calling, you just tell them they got the wrong number then they magically disappear!

    Of course, you can forget about ever getting a credit card, a tax return or a loan again but that’s a small price to pay for the luxury of enriching your mind with tons of great facts that you’ll forget in ten year’s time.

    But until there’s justice, we’ll always have Matt Damon’s words of wisdom:

    “You dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin education you coulda got for a dollah fifty in late chahges at the public library!”

  4. 4 On January 17th, 2010, craig amabello said:

    Dear Uncle Lloyd…. Very nice story…. Very sad story… BUT: Where’s the love for a not so young guy like myself that spent 13 years in Hell… I mean… Hollywood and ended up getting chewed up and SPIT OUT the bottom of the PORN business!

    I wanna be a Movie Mogul just like YOU uncle Lloyd…. WHERE’S MY BAILOUT?

    Do you wanna hear my Pitches for some GREAT Low budget Comedy movies that can make you and I…… SOME MONEY?

    Please Uncle Lloyd… Be my friend and save me from this trash can that has become my life because I wanted to Rise above just being a SMUT PEDDLER!

    your fan, friend and New? business partner…
    Craig Amabello

  5. 5 On January 17th, 2010, Nick said:

    Well said! I took out some loans to get a Masters. After the Bachelors, all grant money dries up. Most of my loans come from trying to get a higher degree. While some legislation has been done, my option after graduation is going to be paying nearly $200 a month for 25 years of which it will be forgiven by having to pay income tax on the ‘gift’ they’re going to give me. Oh, no worries: if I get a public service job, then the forgiveness is ten years!

    Either way, the government is going to have to pay for it. Meanwhile, while we’re bailing out businesses designed to rip off people by their very nature, I have to pay out the ass to find decent employment….of 30k-50k. Yeah, right.

    Most students I know tell the government to bite them and stay in school half-time so when they die the government can take a giant bite out of their ass. But how is that going to fix anything? This system is so incredibly fucked that I’m not sure why I even bothered going to school. If I’m going to be a pauper, then fuck them. I’m sure as hell not going to bother buying an overpriced house or participating in the consumer economy. No, I have to pay off loans so I can GET A FUCKING JOB TO SUPPORT MYSELF IN THIS SHITTY ECONOMY.

    We need change, and motherfucking now. Real change. I really wonder what the government thinks is going to happen when they have a populace in debt with loans that cannot be forgiven in bankruptcy, no jobs, and living in shit while 1% of the population lives it up. They’re begging for a fucking French Revolution in the biggest way.

    Goddamn it. Just goddamn it.

  6. 6 On January 18th, 2010, Miller said:

    Also as a FORMER automotive worker, things are not looking any better for G.M. I know a ton of people (Michiganders) looking for work. Not just automotive needs a boost but all industries but it’s not as simple as just giving away the money.

  7. 7 On January 19th, 2010, Grantland Klein said:

    LLoyd you hit the nail on the head! I thankfully did not have to take out any loans, but most of the people at my college end up not being able to pursue their dreams in the Media industry due to media arts schools being so expensive so I definitely hear about it every day. I for one am disgusted at most people my age who jumped on the bandwagon for all this “change” when they didn’t know what “change” they were referring to, and now it looks like the change isn’t the kind we were hoping for. You definitely know what you are talking about! I look always look forward to your words of wisdom!

  8. 8 On January 20th, 2010, Corinne said:

    Are there any jobs out there for recent grads? Really?
    In their field I mean. Even former CEO’s are taking jobs at supermarkets to make something, so the young are no better off than the over 50 someone who loses their job after 25 years.

  9. 9 On January 27th, 2010, arnoldo said:

    I feel you Lloyd. I have two degrees, more than $45k in debt, and the last job I had was at min. wage and I was laid off because it was temporary and am now in the unemployment area like everyone else. F***-tastic!

  10. 10 On February 19th, 2010, Robert said:

    Lloyd, you’ve got it right.
    Although I’m 35 and much past school-aged, my wife is 23, and is dealing with the same student loan problems you’re mentioning. With a degree in Marketing, she’s lucky to get work as a secretary now. She worked full-time all but her last year of college, when she worked part-time, while I helped her with expenses. Now, its “Pay up or else.” It’s even worse for those of us who didn’t have the means to attend college. I’m worried that the “Land of Opportunity” only applies to those of us whom are lucky enough to have a relative at Disney or Sony (or one of its many holdings), or someone having the ability to contribute heavily to a presidential campaign.

  11. 11 On February 24th, 2010, James said:

    After I graduate from HS this spring, I plan on pursuing a career in film at Grand Valley State University here in Michigan. While Michigan legislature is trying to lure film-makers with fancy incentives and bargains, they have cut quite a bit of financial aid from student’s wallets. I know it’s not the State Legislature’s number one goal to help me escape to New York, instead, that job belongs to the Federal Government!

  12. 12 On February 27th, 2010, Jimmy Cracks Rocks said:

    Life is hell.

  13. 13 On March 3rd, 2010, do said:

    don’t you have unpaid college interns?

  14. 14 On March 3rd, 2010, andrew said:

    I have to agree with some of what you say sir. Though if you look at it form one stand point you the people of the usa could have a war mongering dolt or a calm and collected leader that knows what he is doing o.O also I agree helping the large car makers with their problems was a sad act on his part but do not dwell on the wrongs look at the rights he had done so far thank you sir

  15. 15 On March 4th, 2010, Edilberto Coaya said:

    A libertarian might argue that part of the bloated cost of education today is the subsidies that many colleges get from the government. Natural market forces aren’t in play as much. Will throwing more money at wasteful institutions help in that area. I mean if I’m gonna be blowing other people’s tax money on my education where is my incentive to spend it wisely? And if I’m not spending that money that I didn’t earn wisely wouldn’t that naturally cause real resentment from someone else who’s tax money is paying for it. It would be hard to justify that to them. And considering that they vote it would be logical that they would vote against any politician that supported it.

  16. 16 On March 10th, 2010, Ben Gallegos said:

    It’s all part of the rand scheme of things, of course these people are going to be given money, so they can use that money for programs (scams) that will ensure they take as much of the little peoples money as they can. All the while, unbeknownst to us, we stay under the fat pigs thumbs.

    They don’t want us to have education so the general public can be stupid and controllable. The smart ones need to be put in their place. They’re all out to get us and people don’t see it.

    I’m sorry if this incomprehensible and making fractured sense at best, but that’s how bad it all pisses me off.

  17. 17 On May 4th, 2010, Kyle T. Cherry said:


    While I respect you as a filmaker and entreprenuer, I think you should keep the political commentary to yourself. Remember that it was the Bush administration that bailed out the Banks and fabricated this so-called “financial crisis” overnight. It was the Bush administration that Sold the American people a war on false pretenses. It was the Bush administration that has done more “borrowing from China” than anyone. Keep making movies Lloyd, I enjoy those better than your Obama bashing. Cant wait for Toxie V! By the way, I find it funny that you were able to formulate this opinion on January 15, 2009, 5 days before Obama was inaugurated. Hmmm…am I the only one that noticed that?

    Kyle T. Cherry,
    Proud, but Dissapointed, Tromite.

  18. 18 On May 4th, 2010, Kyle T. Cherry said:

    Correction, I now see, the 2010. My bad, but you’re still wrong Lloyd.

  19. 19 On June 2nd, 2010, James said:

    i dont think he can spare any “hope” either. tough times indeed….

  20. 20 On June 16th, 2010, Elvis Grey said:

    I hope you don’t mind me saying this but you sound like the typical Obama supporter.The Tea Party movement is just one example of how American citizens have had it with the current government and are now looking for real change.

  21. 21 On November 30th, 2011, moziko wind said:

    always keep producing fascinating blogs like this one its real worthy

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